Why did the germ become a vegetarian? It didn't want to eat its own kind!

What do you call fake poo? A sham poo!

Why did the toilet paper work overtime? It had a lot of poop to cover up!

Why did the booger go to the party? Because it wanted to pick up some girls!

What do you call a dinosaur that gets into a car accident? Tyrannosaurus wreck!

Why did the jellybean go to school? To get a little smarter!

Why did the germ stop dancing? It had no body to boogie with!

How do you fix a broken jack-o-lantern? With a pumpkin patch!

What do you call a bear with no teeth and claws? Barely there!

What do you call a potato that's feeling down? A blue potato!

Why was the painting fishing? It hoped to catch a good frame!

Why did the math book look constipated? Because it had too many problems!

Why did the toilet paper bring a blanket to the party? Because it was feeling a little flushed!

Why did the germ feel lonely? Because it was bacteria-cell!

Why did the snot go to school? To get some more booger-education!

Why did the nose think it was an athlete? Because it was always running!

What do you call a fake diamond? Cubic zirconia!

Why did the razor break up with the shaving cream? It couldn't handle the sharp comments!

What did the necktie say to the hat? You go on ahead, I'll hang around!

Why did the soap go to the dance? Because it heard it could cut a rug!

Why did the hamburger go to the bathroom? It couldn't ketchup!