How did the blonde land a job as a mechanic? She nailed every interview.

What did the blonde say when she heard it takes 18 months for twins to be born? 'I can't wait that long!'

Did you hear about the blonde who took an hour to cook Minute Rice?

Why did the blonde wear a coat inside? She heard it was chili outside.

Why did the blonde go to the dentist? To pick up her Bluetooth.

What does a blonde say after sex? What team do you guys play for?

How does a blonde change a light bulb? She holds it in the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her.

Why do blondes work seven days a week? So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.

What did the blonde say when asked to alphabetize the M&Ms? 'I don't know my ABCs yet.'

Why did the blonde try to drown a fish in apple juice? It was the only juice she had.

How did the blonde burn her ear? She tried to iron her hair.

What did the blonde do when she missed the bus? She took a cab to the bus stop.

Why did the blonde try to put her car in the oven? She heard it needed a 'bake' brake.

How did the blonde try to cool off? She stood in front of a fan and waited for winter.

How did the blonde try to kill a bird? She threw it a frying pan.

Why did the blonde try to water the plants with Gatorade? It's got what plants crave.

How did the blonde get locked out of her car? She lost the key and couldn't figure out how to use the button.

Why did the blonde try to sharpen her credit card? She heard it needed a chip.

Why did the blonde try to plant M&Ms? She wanted to grow a candy tree.

How did the blonde get locked in the bathroom? She thought 'push' meant 'pull.'

Why did the blonde try to cool down her laptop by putting it in the freezer? She heard it had 'ice' in its name.