How did the blonde confuse a book with a mirror? She saw herself reflected in the story.

Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the library? She wanted to reach the bottom shelf.

What do you call a blonde with a hamster? A mouse whisperer.

How did the blonde try to kill a bird? She threw it a party.

Why did the blonde carry a mirror while shopping? To see a sale from all angles.

Why did the blonde stare at the can of soda? She wanted it to open automatically.

How did the blonde break her arm picking flowers? She got tangled up in the bouquet.

What do you call a blonde with a headache? A thinker.

How did the blonde try to kill a spider? She asked it to play dead.

Why did the blonde stare at the clock for hours? She wanted to see time fly.

How did the blonde try to kill a bug? She gave it a time-out.

Why did the blonde bring a pillow to the movie theater? She heard it was a sleeper hit.

What do you call a blonde with a surfboard? Beach babe.

Why did the blonde wear a turtleneck to the bar? She heard it was a neck of the woods.

Why did the blonde stop using the microwave? She couldn't figure out how to rewind time.

Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen juice? She wanted it to thaw.

Why did the blonde bring a pencil to the bar? For drawing her own drinks.

What do you call a blonde with a PhD? A brunette.

Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice? She was trying to remember how to concentrate.

What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brown? An undercover agent.

Why did the blonde bring a bag of frozen peas to the opera? In case there was a standing ovation.