How did the blonde break her nose while eating ice cream? She mistook the waffle cone for a baseball bat.

Why did the blonde try to put M&M's in alphabetical order? Because she thought they stood for 'Mines and Mines'.

What did the blonde say after getting her driver's license? 'I can't wait to drive on the sidewalk legally!'

Why did the blonde think she could swim across the Pacific Ocean? Because she saw a sign that said 'Ocean Spray'.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant with twins? 'I wonder if they're identical.'

Why did the blonde think she could make a horse gallop by feeding it sugar cubes? She thought it would 'sweeten' the deal.

Why did the blonde bring a ruler to the construction site? She wanted to measure up to the competition.

What did the blonde say when she saw the 'No Trespassing' sign? 'Oh no, I wasn't planning on passing any trees!'

Why did the blonde think she could fly by jumping off a building? Because she heard people say 'the sky's the limit'.

How did the blonde break her wrist while baking cookies? She tried to punch down the dough too hard.

What did the blonde say when she saw the 'SLOW CHILDREN' sign? 'Wow, they really do think of everything!'

Why did the blonde bring a hammer to the water park? She heard there would be 'splash zones'.

How did the blonde break her leg trying to catch a bus? She thought it was a 'running' joke.

What did the blonde say when she saw the 'Automatic Door' sign? 'Oh no, it's like they know I'm coming!'

Why did the blonde think she could become a millionaire by buying a boat? Because she heard it was a 'ship' investment.

How did the blonde get a concussion at the bakery? She tried to make a 'pancake' by headbutting the dough.

Why did the blonde drive to the drive-in movie theater? She heard it was 'drive-thru'.

What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair black? Artificial distinction.

What do you call a blonde with a job? A miracle worker.

Why did the blonde wear earmuffs to the bar? She heard the drinks were on the rocks.

Why did the blonde jump off a cliff with a parachute? She wanted to experience freefall fashion.