Why did the blonde bring a hammer to the bar? She heard it was a smashing place.

How did the blonde try to kill a fish? She gave it a life jacket.

Why did the blonde bring a book to the bar? She heard it had a good story.

How do you know a blonde has been using the computer? There is lipstick on the mouse.

What did the blonde say when she saw a 'No Parking' sign? 'But where will I put my car?'

Why did the blonde bring a napkin to the bar? She heard the drinks were messy.

How did the blonde try to kill a tree? She hugged it to death.

What did the blonde say when she saw a 'Dead End' sign? 'But where does it go?'

How do you confuse a blonde at the bank? Give her a blank check.

How did the blonde try to kill a bird? She sang to it.

How do you get a blonde to laugh on Wednesday? Tell her a joke on Friday.

What did the blonde say when she saw a banana peel? 'Watch out, it's a slippery slope.'

Why did the blonde bring a pencil to the bar? To draw her conclusions.

Why did the blonde bring a hairbrush to the bar? She heard they were serving up shots.

What did the blonde say when she saw the highway sign saying 'Keep Right'? 'Oh, I thought it said Keep Warm!'

Why did the blonde take a shower with a raincoat? She heard it was going to be 'partly cloudy'.

Why did the blonde bring a spoon to the bar? She heard they had mixed drinks.

How did the blonde drown a fish? She tried to water it like a plant.

Why did the blonde stand on a chair to study? She heard the answers were closer to the top.

Why did the blonde stare at the frozen pizza for hours? It said 'Open package, eat pizza' but she couldn't figure it out.

How do you get a blonde to laugh on a Friday? Tell her a joke on Monday.