Why did the blonde bring a spoon to the movie theater? To catch the plot holes.

How did the blonde break her arm raking leaves? She fell out of the hammock.

What do you call a blonde with a bottle of ketchup? All shook up.

Why did the blonde go to the dentist? She heard she had a cavity (in her knowledge).

How did the blonde try to make popcorn? She threw corn kernels at the ceiling and waited for them to pop.

Why did the blonde stare at the calendar for hours? Because it said 'days are numbered'.

What do you call a blonde with a ladder on her head? Optimistic.

Why did the blonde bring a thermometer to the party? She heard it was going to be hot.

How did the blonde try to kill a bird? She threw it a goodbye party.

What do you call a blonde with a flashlight in her handbag? Prepared for a bright idea.

How did the blonde try to make toast? She put bread in the DVD player.

Why did the blonde stare at the can of soup for hours? Because it said 'concentrate'.

How did the blonde break her nose trying to catch a fly? She mistook the fly swatter for a selfie stick.

Why did the blonde bring a helmet to the bowling alley? She heard the pins were dangerous.

How did the blonde try to make pancakes? She poured batter on the ironing board and waited for it to flatten.

Why did the blonde tip-toe past the mirror? She didn't want to wake up the sleeping beauty.

Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice for hours? It said 'concentrate'.

Why did the blonde drive a nail into the ceiling? She wanted to be a high achiever.

Why did the blonde sleep with a ruler? To measure how long she slept.

Why did the blonde sit on the TV? To watch the sofa.

Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? Because it said 'concentrate.'