What did the blonde say when she saw the sign 'Caution: Wet Floor'? 'Good thing I brought my water wings.'

How did the blonde try to kill a bird? She put it in the oven thinking it would roast.

What did the blonde say when she saw a 'Do Not Enter' sign? 'Must be for the other door.'

Why did the blonde bring a mirror to the interview? To see what success looks like.

What did the blonde say after failing her driving test for the third time? 'I think they're setting the bar too high.'

Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice for hours? The carton said 'concentrate'.

What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home? She moved.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? 'I hope it's not mine.'

Why did the blonde only read the newspaper on Saturdays? Because the headlines said 'Saturdays are the best days to read newspapers'.

How did the blonde die raking leaves? She fell out of the tree.

Why did the blonde go to the movie theater with a pencil? To draw the curtains.

How do you get a blonde's eyes to sparkle? Shine a flashlight in her ear.

Why did the blonde iron her jeans? The label said 'pants press'.

Why did the blonde keep an empty carton of milk in the fridge? In case she wanted black coffee.

Why did the blonde stare at the glass of orange juice for ten minutes? Because it said 'concentrate'.

What did the blonde say when she saw the Cheerios box say 'family size'? 'Wow, they know my family!?'

Why did the blonde call the welfare office? She wanted to know how to cook food stamps.

What did the blonde say when she walked into the bar? Ouch!

Why can't blondes put in light bulbs? They keep breaking them with the hammers they use to screw them in.

What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run like hell, she's got a grenade in her mouth.

What did the blonde do when she missed the 44 bus? She took the 22 bus twice instead.