Why did the blonde bring a hairbrush to the bar? To comb through the drink menu.

How did the blonde break her wrist playing hockey? She got stuck in the Zamboni.

Why did the blonde bring a clock to the bar? To make sure it was happy hour.

What did the blonde do when she saw a 'No Parking' sign? She took it home.

Why did the blonde put her phone in the oven? She heard it was a 'hotline.'

Why did the blonde stare at the mirror for hours? She was trying to reflect on her thoughts.

Why did the blonde bring a paddle to the swimming pool? She heard it was a stroke of genius.

Why did the blonde bring a saw to the beauty salon? She wanted to trim some split ends.

Why did the blonde bring a rope to the BBQ? She heard they were grilling some 'hot dogs.'

Why did the blonde bring a bottle of water to the ocean? In case she got thirsty for saltwater.

Why did the blonde stare at the light bulb? She wanted to see the bright side of things.

Why did the blonde bring a calculator to the party? She was ready to crunch some numbers.

Why did the blonde bring a pillow to the park? She wanted to take a nap under the tree.

Why did the blonde stare at the soap dispenser? It said 'foaming at the mouth.'

Why did the blonde bring a suitcase to the grocery store? She wanted to bag some deals.

Why did the blonde bring a compass to the gym? She heard they were working on their 'fitness.'

Why did the blonde stare at the microwave? It said 'hot stuff inside.'

Why did the blonde stare at the apple juice box? It said 'concentrate.'

Why did the blonde stare at the calendar for hours? It said 'days are numbered.'

Why did the blonde bring a flashlight to the bar? In case things got a little dim-witted.

Why did the blonde bring a key to the desert? She wanted to unlock the sand.