Why did the blonde bring a mirror to the restaurant? So she could see what she ordered.

What did the blonde say when asked if she believed in ghosts? 'I don't know, I've never seen one in real life!'

How did the blonde drown while swimming? She couldn't find the 'any key' to exit the pool.

Why did the blonde bring a hairdryer to the baseball game? She heard they needed a closer.

Why did the blonde stare at the can opener for hours? It said 'open sesame'.

What did the blonde do when she couldn't find her glasses? She went to get an eye exam to find them.

Why did the blonde bring a spoon to the barbecue? To help stir up some trouble.

What did the blonde do when she couldn't find her keys? She hotwired the house.

Why did the blonde bring a pencil to the mechanic? In case the car needed a quick sketch.

How did the blonde break her nose while swimming? She thought the pool was shallow and dove in.

What did the blonde do when she couldn't find the remote? She watched commercials until it appeared.

Why did the blonde bring a spoon to the movie theater? To spoon-feed herself the plot.

How did the blonde break her arm while jogging? She tried to run away from her own shadow.

Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? She thought the drinks were up for election.

Why did the blonde bring a pencil to the movie theater? To write the ending.

What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant? She asked for a second opinion.

Why did the blonde bring a ruler to the bar? To measure how many drinks she had.

How did the blonde die while ice fishing? She drowned in the ice hole.

Why did the blonde stare at the can of glue for hours? It said 'stick to it'.

What did the blonde do when she saw lightning? She tried to record it on her camera.

How do you confuse a blonde about a baseball game? Ask her if a 'pop fly' is related to soda.