Why did the blonde bring a shovel to bed? She wanted to dig deep into her dreams.

How did the blonde burn the salad? She tried to make it on the stove.

Why did the blonde bring a camera to the bar? To capture the memories (if she remembered).

Why did the blonde bring a coat to the bar? She heard they had a strong draft.

What did the blonde do when she found out she was out of shampoo? She used the dish soap instead.

What did the blonde do when she couldn't find her keys? She called a locksmith.

Why did the blonde bring a stapler to the bar? She heard someone was hitting on her drink.

How did the blonde burn down the house? She tried to make microwave popcorn on the stove.

Why did the blonde bring a map to bed? In case she got lost in her dreams.

How did the blonde accidentally become a vegetarian? She couldn't figure out how to cook the bacon.

What did the blonde do when she couldn't find her phone? She called it from her landline.

Why did the blonde bring a soccer ball to the bar? She heard it was a kickback party.

How did the blonde drown while swimming? She tried to dive into the shallow end.

Why did the blonde bring a dictionary to bed? She wanted to look up 'dream'.

Why did the blonde bring a can opener to the bar? She heard it was 'open mic' night.

Why did the blonde bring a rope to the bar? She heard they had a 'hangover' special.

Why did the blonde wear a coat when she was painting? She read the label 'for best results, apply two coats'.

Why did the blonde take a glass of water to the bar? She heard they had 'happy hour'.

What did the blonde do when she found out she was allergic to peanuts? Gave up her job at the circus.

How did the blonde change a lightbulb? She held it in the socket and waited for the world to revolve around her.

Why did the blonde jump out the window on Sunday? She wanted to see the Super Bowl.