Jokes about morbid or controversial topics; not for everyone.
Why was the tomato so red? It saw what the farmer did to the grape.
Why did the man break up with his calendar? He found out she was seeing other dates.
What’s the fastest way to break up with someone? Text them, 'We need to talk,' then don’t respond for 6 hours.
Why was the scarecrow such a good detective? He was outstanding in his field of investigating mysteries.
Why did the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field, literally and professionally.
Why did the tomato go to the doctor? It was feeling saucy, but also because it needed a ketchup on its health.
Why did the butcher become a comedian? He always knew how to make a good offal joke.
What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? He wiped.
Why did the fireman wear red suspenders to work? To keep his pants up, but also to match the flames.
Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two tired, but also in a twisted love triangle with a unicycle and a tricycle.
Why did the lifeguard get fired? He was drowning in paperwork.
Why don't ghosts go on diets? Because they need to eat enough to stay boo-tiful.
Why was the skeleton bad at hide and seek? Because you could always see right through him.
Why did the gardener become a comedian? He always had a blooming audience.
Why did the scarecrow become a therapist? Because he was outstanding in his field of listening.
Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants, but also for being a waist of time in the fashion industry.
Why did the scarecrow go to therapy? To get over his fear of commitment.
What did the ghost say to the bee? Boo bee.
Why was the cemetery a great investment opportunity? You could make a killing in real estate.
Why did the banker switch to dark humor? Because he was making a killing in the market.
What's the difference between a feminist and a suicidal woman? The feminist has more of a future.