I told my wife she should consider becoming an investigator. She couldn't solve the mystery of our marriage.

Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? She couldn't understand his spaced out behavior.

I asked the doctor if he had a cure for marriage. He suggested shock therapy.

I told my wife she should consider becoming a boxer. She didn't have the stomach for it.

I asked the doctor if I could administer my own vaccines. He said sure, just needle it.

My wife accused me of being a psychopath. That's a pretty big word for someone who can't even spell it.

Why did the butcher break up with his girlfriend? She was always making a hash of things.

I told my wife she should become a pilot. She said she'd rather take off without me.

I asked the doctor for a taste of my own medicine. He prescribed marriage therapy.

I told my wife she should consider becoming a pro wrestler. She didn't have the guts for it.

My wife accused me of being too blunt. How's that for sharp criticism?

I told my wife she should consider becoming a clown. She didn't find it funny.

I asked the doctor if there was a cure for marriage. He told me it's called divorce.

I told my wife she should consider becoming a locksmith. She couldn't find the key to success.

I asked the doctor if he had any prescriptions for dealing with a difficult wife. He said, 'Yes, a divorce.'

I told my wife she should consider becoming a boxer. She couldn't punch her way out of a paper bag.

I told my wife she should enter the marathon. She ran away from the idea.

I told my wife she should consider stand-up comedy. She didn't stand for the suggestion.

Why did the sperm donate to charity? It had a lot of little swimmers to spare.

I asked the doctor if there was any way to permanently get rid of my wife's nagging. He suggested they try exorcism.

My wife accused me of being insincere. That was the last thing I ever pretended to be.