I once stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn't peeling very well.

Why did the scarecrow break up with his girlfriend? She just wasn't his type.

I told my wife she should do some planks for her core. Now she's a professional lumberjack.

Why did the math teacher break up with the baseball coach? They had too many problems.

I told my friend he should join a choir. Now he's in treble.

I tried to start a garden, but it just wouldn't grow on me.

I told my wife she should try skydiving to conquer her fear. Now she's afraid of heights and falling.

Why did the scarecrow win at hide and seek? Because he was outstanding in his field.

Why did the ghost go to the party? To find some body to dance with.

I walked into a bar and the bartender said, 'Why so serious?' It was a support group for people with insomnia.

I told my wife she should try ventriloquism to speak her mind. Now her puppet is the one in charge.

I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a huge waist of time.

Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue? For the spare ribs.

I told my girlfriend that she should take up acting to express herself. Now she's dating a playwright.

Why did the scarecrow go to therapy? He had too many deep-seated issues.

I walked into a bar and the bartender said, 'Why the long face?' It was a support group for people with depression.

I told my wife she should do some squats to tone her legs. She told me to stick it where the sun don't shine.

I told my wife she should take up fishing to relax. Now she's hooked.

Why did the farmer bury all his money in the field? He wanted to make his soil rich.

I told my girlfriend she should do some charity work. Now she's dating a guy named Charity.