Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was an outstanding performer.

What's the best thing about living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus.

Why did the vampire open a blood bank? He needed a steady income.

Why did the zombie get promoted? He was great at his dead-end job.

Why was the broom late? It swept right through the traffic.

Why did the skeleton burp? Because it didn't have the guts to fart.

Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was mainstream.

Why did the mummy break up with the ghost? He was too wrapped up in himself.

Why did the gardener get arrested? He was caught with the weed.

What's the difference between a baby and an onion? No one cries when you chop up a baby.

Why was the lawyer skinnier than the other lawyers? He lost his case.

Why don't aliens visit our planet? Terrible TripAdvisor reviews.

Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two tired from pedaling.

Why did Santa go to therapy? He had low elf esteem.

What's the quietest sport? Bowling, because you can hear a pin drop.

Why did the math book look miserable? It had a lot of problems.

What's the best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus.

Why did the bakery hire a therapist? They kneaded someone to talk to.

I told my friend she looked pale. She said it was a grave situation.

Why did the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field of work.

Why couldn't the zombie make it to the party? He was feeling a bit dead inside.