Why did the coffin break up with the frame? It just couldn't handle the relationship.

Why did the skeleton go to the party? He heard they were having a bone-chilling time.

I used to play piano by ear, but then I discovered the keys.

I told my wife she should loosen up. She took the hint and moved out.

I'm friends with a lot of chickens. They're good peckers.

My vacuum is broken. It just sucks.

My cat was just coughing up furballs. I think he's planning a rug.

My internet went down last night, so I spent time with my family. They seem like good people.

I'm friends with a professional baker. He makes a lot of dough.

I used to be a tailor. I lost interest in the job, it was so-so.

Why didn't the skeleton climb the mountain? No guts.

Why couldn't the vampire get a date? He had bat breath.

I told my therapist about my addiction to break-up jokes. He said to give up, but I'm not ready to quit yet.

Why did the mummy get a job at the bakery? He kneaded the dough.

I asked my friend to help me with a puzzle, but he went missing. I guess he just couldn't put it together.

I always thought honesty was the best policy until I tried it at work and got fired.

Why did the zombie go to the party? He heard they'd have a real scream.

I can cut down a tree just by looking at it. It's true, I saw it with my own eyes.

I asked my dad for his best joke, he mentioned my future.

I ironed my shirt but it didn't un-wrinkle. I guess I'm just too edgy for it.

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired to handle the pressure.