Why did the scientist break up with his lab partner? They just didn't have any chemistry.

I asked the coroner if he ever makes mistakes. He said, 'I bury my errors.'

Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend? He felt she was a little clingy.

I told my wife she should become a chef. Now she's cooking the books.

Why don't graveyards ever get lonely? They're always buried in people.

I asked the hitman if his job ever gets boring. He said, 'It has its ups and downs.'

Why did the mortician become a wedding planner? He wanted to help people tie the knot.

I used to work at a crematorium, but I got burned out.

Why did the barber go to therapy? He couldn't cut it anymore.

I told my wife she should try online dating. She said she's already in a committed relationship with Netflix.

Why did the monster go to therapy? It had some serious 'ghoul' issues.

I asked the ghost if it ever gets scared. It said, 'No, I'm always boo-tiful.'

Why did the butcher become a vegan? He couldn't meat people's expectations.

I tried to make a joke about corn... but it was too corny.

Why did the detective go to therapy? He wanted to uncover his hidden feelings.

Why did the ghost go to therapy? It couldn't exorcise its inner demons.

Why did the executioner break up with his girlfriend? She wanted to 'axe' him too many questions.

I asked the psychic if she saw any success in my future. She said, 'Outlook not so good.'

Why did the astronomer break up with his telescope? It couldn't see a future together.

I asked the undertaker if he had ever buried someone alive. He said, 'Not that I know of.'

I heard the local cemetery is really popular. People are just dying to get in.