I told my wife she should do sit-ups. She said, 'Why would I want to sit down from a standing position?'

I don't play hide and seek with mountains. They always peak.

Why do cemeteries have fences? Because people are dying to get in.

Why did the burglar rob a bakery? He kneaded the dough.

Why did the ghost go to the party? He heard it would be a boo last.

Why did the computer catch a virus? It had a weak firewall.

Why did the baker quit his job? He couldn't make enough dough.

Why was the cemetery the most popular place in town? People were just dying to get in.

Why was the math book feeling blue? It just couldn't solve its own problems.

Why was Cinderella so bad at basketball? She always ran away from the ball.

Why did the ocean break up with the beach? It felt too wavey.

Why was the cemetery always crowded? People were just dying to get in.

Why don't skeletons diet more often? They just can't seem to shed those extra bones.

I tried to take a day off work, but my boss said, 'Sorry, we can't operate without you.'

I told my wife she should take up smoking to relieve her stress. She didn't appreciate the suggestion.

I went to an escape room to unwind after a long day. Turns out it was just the janitor's closet.

Why do ghosts go to bars? For the boos.

I tried to donate blood, but they asked too many personal questions. Like 'Whose blood is this?' and 'Why do you have so much?'

I signed up for an organ donor card, but no one wants my piano.

I told my son we could have a barbecue this weekend. He looked excited until I explained it would be in the backyard.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the suicide counseling session on the other side.