I always feel better after hitting the gym. That's why I've started bringing a bat.

Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He sipped his coffee before it was cool.

Why did the vampire open a blood bank? To make a living.

Why was the burglar afraid of algebra? He didn't want to do time in numbers.

Why did the cannibal become a chef? He heard human flesh was a rare medium well done.

Why did the cemetery so full? People were just dying to get in.

Why did the dead googly-eyed doll end up in the cupboard? Because it was hiding from the Barbie.

Why did the skeleton play the piano? Because he had a lot of backbone.

Why did the skeleton go to school? To improve his ghoul grades.

Why was the cemetery running out of space? Because people were just dying to get in.

Why did the ghost refuse to eat Casper the Friendly Ghost cereal? He didn't want to eat himself.

Why did the skeleton go disco dancing? Because he had nobody to dance with.

Why did the zombie break up with his girlfriend? She wasn't his type, he wanted someone with more brains.

Why did the vampire go to the doctor? He was coffin a lot.

Why did the vampire get fired from the blood bank? He always took things too literally.

Why did Frankenstein go to anger management classes? He had a monster temper.

Why did the ghost get banned from the Halloween costume party? He was too boo-ring.

Why did the zombie teacher go to therapy? To learn how to control his rage-aholic tendencies.

Why did the witch use Uber instead of flying on her broom? She didn't want to get stuck in traffic on her way to the coven.

Why did the vampire decide to become a baker? He wanted to make coffin rolls.

Why did the ghost fail his possession exam? He couldn't keep his spirits up.