Why did the zombie go to the psychiatrist? He was all wrapped up in himself.

Why did the cemetery stop offering cemetery plots? They had run out of space.

Why did the skeleton break up with his girlfriend? Because she had no guts.

How do you seduce a rich man? With a gun.

Why did the baker go to therapy? He kneaded emotional support.

Why did the horse become a doctor? He had stable patients.

Why did the stormtrooper start a jazz band? He had the force.

Why did the crab never share? He was shellfish.

Why did the cannibal turn vegetarian? He didn't have the stomach for it.

Why are skeletons always calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.

Why did the graveyard hire a DJ? Because people were dying to dance.

Why did the ghost get promoted? He was good at haunting up new ideas.

Why did the serial killer break up with his calculator? It just couldn't keep counting on him.

What do you call a graveyard where all the bodies are left unburied? A decomposing center.

Why did the zombie join the basketball team? He heard they were looking for a good ghoul.

I asked the ghost in my house if he wanted to play hide and seek. He said, 'I already found the perfect hiding spot - inside your soul.'

Why couldn't the vampire get a date? He had a bat personality.

What's the difference between a drunk driver and a necrophiliac? One is in danger of getting a DUI, the other just wants a stiff one.

Why do skeletons never fight? They don't have the guts.

How do you get a goth out of a tree? Cut the rope.

Why was the scarecrow awarded? Because he was outstanding in his field, literally.