I told my wife she should try meditation to calm her mind. She said, 'That would be a mindful decision.'

I asked my wife if she wanted to hear a joke about paper. She said, 'Sure, but it might be tear-able.'

I told my wife she should try stand-up comedy. She stood up and left the room.

Why did the skeleton refuse to play the piano? He didn't have the guts and was just a bag of bones.

I asked my wife if she wanted to play a game of chess. She said, 'No, I'd rather checkmate my calendar for free time.'

I told my wife that she should try skydiving for an adrenaline rush. She said that would take her falling for a new hobby.

I asked the doctor if he had any advice for my insomnia. He said, 'Yes, have you tried staying awake?'

I told my wife she should learn to juggle for stress relief. She said that would be a real balancing act.

I asked my wife if she wanted to hear a joke about chocolate. She said, 'I may be sweet, but I'm not sugar-coating anything.'

I told my wife she should try gardening for relaxation. She said that would be a plant-fastic idea.

I asked my wife if she wanted to hear a joke about wind. She said, 'I'm not a fan.'

I asked my wife if she wanted to play hide and seek in a graveyard. She said, 'No, I'm dying to leave already.'

I told my wife she should try painting for stress relief. She said that would be a stroke of bad luck.

Why did the coffin go to the dentist? It had a tooth that was absolutely killing it.

Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? He was outstanding in his field and had straw goals.

I asked my wife if our kids are awake yet. She said, 'Not that I'm aware of.'

I met my wife at the gym, but then I found out she married the treadmill.

I heard oxygen and magnesium were going out and I was like, 'OMg!'

I listened to a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.

I told my wife she should do lunges while she's on the phone. She said that would be a call to leg day.

I asked my wife if February 29th was a good date for our anniversary. She said that would be a leap year in the wrong direction.