I asked the doctor if there's any pills to make me taller. He said to stand on a chair.

Why did the vampire join the monastery? Seeking eternal peace.

I told my wife I'm terrified of elevators. She told me I need to step up.

I tried to pour some water into a cracked cup. It was a split-second decision.

Why did the ghost go to therapy? To work on his boo-shy demeanor.

I told my wife I'm afraid of mistakes. She said I make enough of them to become a pro.

Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? He couldn't find anyone to escort him.

Why did the witch go to therapy? She was feeling a bit spellbound.

Why don't mummies take vacations? They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.

Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend? She didn't meet his taste.

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite, but at least it won't melt.

I asked the doctor for some medicine to help me stop procrastinating. He said he'd get back to me on that.

I told my therapist I have a fear of the dark. She handed me the bill.

I tried to write a joke about a coffin, but it was just too dead.

I told my wife I wanted to be cremated when I die. She suggested I be careful what I wish for.

I made a belt out of watches once. It was a waist of time.

Why did the vampire get hired as a bartender? Because he was good at mixing spirits.

I used to play hide and seek with my grandpa as a kid. But he always hid way too well.

I saw a clown walking down the street with a knife. Or maybe it was just a big fork.

I asked the Grim Reaper for some fashion advice. He said black never goes out of style.

I told my wife she should take up yoga. She said stretching the truth already gave her enough exercise.