Did you hear about the claustrophobic detective? He solved the case in a smaller room.

I told my wife I wanted to be buried at sea. She said, 'Let's make it a family vacation.'

I asked my wife if she wanted to roleplay as a nurse. She said, 'You're not sick, you're dead.'

Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? He sold his soul to Santa.

Why did the scarecrow become a comedian? He was outstanding in his field.

I asked my girlfriend if she wants to play doctor. She said, 'No thanks, I already have a patient.'

Why did the burglar break into the bakery? He heard they had cakes with a lot of dough.

I used to be a coroner, but I had to quit because the job was just dead-end.

I don't have a dark sense of humor; I have an electric chair sense of humor.

Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend? She didn't appreciate his cooking.

I don't always tell dark jokes, but when I do, the audience is usually dead silent.

I used to be a necrophiliac, but I got tired of cold shoulders.

Why did the bank robber take a bath? He wanted to make a clean getaway.

I asked my therapist if it's normal to have thoughts of harming others. He said, 'Do you want to be charged extra?'

Why did the ghost go to the party alone? He couldn't find anybody alive to go with him.

I told my wife I wanted to be cremated when I die. She told me I'd be the hottest guy there.

I used to have a fear of speed bumps, but I got over it quickly.

Why did the coffin break up with the cemetery? They were six feet under their relationship.

I told my therapist I have a fear of speed bumps. He says I should slow down.

Why did the serial killer open a bakery? To satisfy his knead for murder.

Why did the burglar break into the bakery? He needed his daily bread.