Why did the cemetery run out of space? People were just dying to get in there.

I asked the psychic if she wanted to go out for dinner. She said, 'I have a feeling there's something else on the menu.'

My girlfriend told me she wanted to be treated like a princess. So I buried her alive in a tower.

Why did the mathematician become a mortician? He wanted to work with some cold hard facts.

Why did the zombie go to the dentist? To improve his bite.

I told my wife I wanted a more 'spooky' themed wedding. She said 'till death do us part' isn't enough for you?

Why did the vampire break up with his girlfriend? She wasn't his 'blood' type.

I wanted to become a grave digger, but the job was just too... underground for me.

My wife asked me if I believed in life after death. I said, 'Not until we finish this meal.'

Why did the graveyard start charging entry fees? People were just dying to get in.

I accidentally called the morgue instead of my therapist. The conversation was dead silent.

Why did the necrophiliac break up with his girlfriend? She was too cold for him.

I asked my wife if she wanted to play Ouija board. She said, 'You can't handle my 'supernatural' moves.'

Why do ghosts go to the bar? For the boos.

I told my wife I wanted our relationship to be more 'bloody'. She said, 'You're a real pain in the neck.'

Why do vampires clean their teeth three times a day? To prevent bat breath.

Why did the ghost go to therapy? To exorcise his demons.

My wife told me she's always had a 'grave' view of our relationship. I said, 'Don't forget the 'til death do us part' bit.'

Why did the zombie break up with his girlfriend? She wasn't his 'afterlife'.

Why was the werewolf always invited to parties? Because he's a real 'howl' to be around.

I asked the spirit medium when she wanted to meet. She said, 'Let's play it by ear.'