Why was the necrophiliac the worst party guest? He always brought 'dead' conversation.

Why did the vampire break up with his girlfriend? She couldn't 'stake' their relationship anymore.

I asked the medium what she wanted for her birthday. She said, 'I see something shiny in your future.'

Why did the ghost go to therapy? To exorcise his inner doubts.

My wife wanted to have a 'spirited' conversation about our marriage. I said, 'That's not how I see things.'

Why don't zombies eat clowns? They taste funny.

Why did the vampire become a comedian? He wanted to 'suck' the humor out of his audience.

I asked the psychic what she saw in my future. She said, 'I see someone who doesn't believe me.'

Why did the ghost go to the liquor store? He heard they had a 'spirit' sale.

Why don't vampires get lost? They always 'count' on finding their way.

I told my wife she should embrace her inner demons. She gave me a hug, then whispered 'your turn'.

Why did the coffin break up with the cemetery? It wanted some 'space'.

My wife asked me if I would still love her if she turned into a ghost. I said, 'Better get used to being transparent.'

Why couldn't the zombie play hide and seek? He was always 'un-dead' to the game.

I asked the undertaker if they had any job openings. They said, 'We're dying to have you.'

Why did the necrophiliac go to Vegas? He heard there were plenty of 'cold' women there.

Why don't ghosts like the rain? It always dampens their 'spirits'.

Why did the undertaker break up with his girlfriend? She was always 'dead' silent.

I told my wife I wanted a more 'grave' sense of humor in our relationship. She said, 'Don't bury us yet.'

Why did the zombie become a musician? He heard they have a lot of 'dead' beats.

My wife told me she wanted a 'killer' vacation spot. I told her it's to die for.