Why did the vampire start knitting? He heard it was 'fang'cinating.

Why did the ghost go to the party? For the 'spirits'.

I tried to make a joke about bones, but it didn't have much 'meat' to it.

Why don't zombies enjoy going to the circus? They can't stand clowning around.

Why was the ghost such a messy eater? Because he always went straight for the 'boo'food.

I asked the fortune teller if she wanted to grab lunch. She said, 'I see a sandwich in your future.'

Why was the zombie always invited to parties? He had a 'dead' sense of humor.

Why did the mortician become a chef? He was tired of dealing with half-baked customers.

My wife told me I'm too obsessed with the afterlife. I told her, 'Death is the only thing certain in this relationship.'

Why don't vampires ever get lost? They always have a 'bat' of finding their way around.

The necrophiliac broke up with his girlfriend because she was too 'stiff' for him.

My wife said she wanted to be cremated, so I offered to light the spark in our relationship.

Why did the ghost go to the Halloween party? He heard it was going to be 'boo-tiful'.

I tried to tell my wife a joke about the graveyard, but the conversation died before I could finish.

Why was the embalmer always calm under pressure? He knew how to keep his cool.

Why did the zombie's girlfriend break up with him? She wanted someone with more 'life' in them.

I asked my wife if she believed in life after death. She said, 'I won't know until I'm done with this one.'

Why did the mortician become a chef? He wanted to work with 'cold cuts'.

I asked the psychic if she wanted to go out for drinks. She said, 'I have a feeling it won't end well.'

Why did the ghost go to the football game? He heard they had a 'haunting' defense.

My wife told me she wanted to be cremated, so I asked if she was feeling 'burnt out' already.