Why didn't the ghost want to join the band? He preferred to play 'soul' music.

Why did the mortician break up with his girlfriend? She was always 'decomposing' the relationship.

I asked the psychic if she wanted to grab a bite to eat. She said, 'I'm not 'feeling' it.'

Why don't ghosts go to the bar? They can't handle their 'booze'.

Why did the zombie go to the therapist? To discuss his 'un-dead' feelings.

Why couldn't the grave digger get a date? He was always 'buried' in his work.

My wife asked me if I would still love her if she turned into a vampire. I said, 'I'll cross that bridge when I'm undead.'

Why did the undertaker become an architect? He wanted to build a 'casket' for success.

Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks to beat.

I would tell you a joke about UDP, but you might not get it. It might get lost in transmission.

I used to be a baker, but I couldn't handle the heat. I was always in the kitchen.

I would tell you a joke about UDP, but you might not get it. A nerdy network joke.

I used to be a baker, but I couldn't handle the heat. Baking under pressure.

I don't have a big ego, I'm just better than everyone else.

I named my dog '6 miles', so I can tell people I walk 6 miles every day.

I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but I had to turn myself around.

Why did the scarecrow become a successful CEO? He was outstanding in his field.

I would make a pun about lemons, but I don't have the zest for it.

Why did the chicken join a rock band? It had great drumsticks.

What's the least spoken language in the world? Sign language in the dark.

I poured root beer into a square glass. Now I just have beer.