Jokes about morbid or controversial topics; not for everyone.
Why did the ceiling break up with the walls? It couldn't handle the attachment.
Why did the math teacher break up with the history teacher? They just couldn't find a common denominator.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park? They woke up. But not for long.
I have a joke about construction, but I'm still working on it. Just like the building I demolished by accident.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist. And then I realized it was my breath in front of a mirror.
Why did the onion start crying? Because it couldn't find its family tree. And it realized its roots were being chopped off.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies! Turns out he was just grabbing his mop, but it scared the living daylights out of me.
Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks. And a killer cluck solo.
Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a terminal illness. And now it's queued up for a reboot in the afterlife.
What's a ghost's favorite dessert? Boo-berry pie. It's to die for.
Why did the scarecrow break up with the corn? It just wasn't its ear type. And it realized it was in love with a pumpkin.
Why did the zombie go on a diet? To keep its figure, so it wouldn't decay. And it wanted to fit into its old coffin.
What did the grape do when it was stepped on? It let out a little wine. And then realized it had a crush on the foot.
Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants. And now it's doing time for accessory to fashion.
What did the hat say to the scarf? You hang tight, I'll go on ahead. And then it realized it was all downhill from there.
Why did the ocean break up with the shore? It just needed some space. And because it was tired of carrying land's weight.
Why didn't the sun go to college? It already had a million degrees. And it was too hot for school.
Why did the sandwich go to the bar? It heard the drinks were on the house. And it wanted to toast to its filling.
Why did the baker stop making bread? He ran out of dough. And his life was left in a crumby mess.
Why did the fungi go to the party alone? Because it's a fungi, get it? And it spored some rumors about a mushrooming love affair.
Why did the math book's page get detention? It was caught square-rooting the rest of the class. And making the others feel obtuse.