I'm friends with a mathematician. He's always got my number.

I used to be a computer technician, but I lost my drive.

I stopped my dog from chasing people on a bike. I took his bike away.

I'm friends with a lot of mathematicians, we have good relationships.

I'm friends with a lot of vegetarians. I meet them in leafy places.

Why couldn't the math book look happy? It always had too many problems.

We'll begin the autopsy as soon as we find your head.

Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.

Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? He had a lot of corn-nections.

I swear, the refrigerator is a cool appliance.

I asked the gym trainer to teach me to do the splits. And I find myself apart more than ever.

I want to start a group for people who can't decide. Maybe.

My friend couldn't afford personalized license plates, so he changed his name to J3L2404.

I would tell you a joke about a jump rope, but it might skip your mind.

I've been learning sign language, it's quite handy.

I'm trying to write a joke about unemployment, but it doesn't work.

I'm friends with a lot of vegetarians. I guess you could say I have a bunch of plant-based friends.

I used to play hide and seek with my therapist, but it took him too long to find me.

I own a pencil that used to be owned by Shakespeare, but it hasn't got any lead left.

I speak my mind because it hurts to bite my tongue.

I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. It was just a Fanta sea.