I told my wife she should give up painting, she threw a fit.

My neighbors are listening to great music. Whether they like it or not.

I'm trying to come up with a joke about construction, but it's still under development.

I'm trying to write a novel about a clown, but it's hard to keep it from getting too colorful.

I told my wife she should do yoga. She twisted my words and now she's a pretzel.

I'm trying to write a joke about rocks, but it's just too hard.

I told my wife she should do push-ups. She pushed me away.

I'm writing a book about paranormal activity, but it's taking forever to finish.

I asked my plants if they wanted to hear a joke. They said, 'leaf us out of it.'

I'm trying to write a joke about the periodic table, but all the good ones argon.

I asked the broom if it wanted to go on a date. It swept me off my feet.

I told my wife she should do more pull-ups. She's hanging on every word.

I used to be a baker, but my plans were toast.

I used to be a baker, but my career was crummy.

I told my wife she should do lunges. She got up and left.

I'm reading a book on the history of the elevator. It's an uplifting read.

I told my wife she should do squats. She said, 'I KNEED you.'

I'm trying to write a joke about deep-sea creatures, but it's too deep.

I asked the gym if they had any dumbbells to spare. They said, 'No, we don't give away our best customers.'

I asked the cat for some help with the crossword. She said 'purr-fectly clear.'

I taught my dog to speak English, now he won't stop barking orders.