I told my wife she should do sit-ups. She said, 'Why up?'

I'm friends with lollipops. They are so sweet.

I'm friends with elevators. They always lift my spirits.

I'm friends with clocks. We always seem to have good times together.

I'm friends with doors. They really open up to me.

I'm friends with batteries. They are positive and keep me charged.

I'm friends with tissues. They really help me wipe away my tears.

I went to a wedding of two antennas. The ceremony was kind of dull, but the reception was great.

I'm reading a book on invisibility, it's transparently boring.

I told my wife she should embrace her love for cheese, now she's grating on my nerves.

I'm trying to start a band with insects, but they always bug out.

I asked my wife if she wanted to embrace her clumsiness, she tripped over.

I'm reading a book on doors, it's an open and shut case.

Why did the snowman go to school? To improve his flakey grades.

I told my wife she should embrace her love for puzzles, now she's jigsawing every day.

I'm trying to start a band with cats, but they keep scratching the records.

I asked the clock if it had any jokes, but it was too time-consuming.

I told my wife she should embrace her forgetfulness, now she doesn't remember what I said.

I asked my wife if she wanted to embrace her curiosity, she searched for an answer.

I'm trying to start a band with elevators, but they always lift me up.

Why did the bread go to therapy? It had major crumb-issues.