I've started telling everyone about the benefits of dried grapes. It's all about raisin awareness.

I asked my dog what's it like living in an igloo, he said 'bark, it's cool.'

Hurt my toe today, I suspect foul play.

Did you hear about the artist with a passion for duct tape? It was a real stickler for detail.

I joked about a broken pencil, but it seemed pointless.

I made a joke about light, but it wasn't very illuminating.

I tried to joke about a tree, but it didn't branch out well.

I told a joke about a shoe, but it had no sole.

I attempted a joke about a clock, but the timing was off.

I made a joke about a window, but it didn't have a transparent delivery.

I tried to joke about a door, but it didn't open up well.

I joked about a computer, but the response was unresponsive.

I told a joke about a couch, but it wasn't very comfortable.

I told a joke about a cookie, but it crumbled under pressure.

I can't tell a joke about paper because it's tearable.

I made a joke about a mountain, but it was hill-arious.

I tried to tell a joke about eggs, but it ended up being scrambled.

I attempted a joke about bread, but it was just too crumby.

I told a joke about a calendar, but it felt dated.

I wanted to be a dairy farmer, but I didn't have the moos.

If you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?