I was thinking about taking a job in Italy, but I pasta up.

Why did the billionaire bring a math book on his luxury yacht? He needed to do some exponential sailing.

I'm trying to organize a limbo tournament, but the bar is just too high.

Why did the tomato and lettuce break up? It wasn't working due to too much dressing.

I used to be a baker, but then I lost my loaf.

I'm trying to lose weight, but gravity keeps pulling me down.

I used to be a baker, but then I went gluten-free, now I'm all breadless.

I'm playing hide and seek with numbers. To be honest, they're always in their prime hiding spots.

I'm trying to come up with a joke about time travel, but you guys didn't like it.

I told my computer to clean the kitchen, but it's still waiting for the instructions.

I used to be a gardener, but it was plant-tedious.

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes; she gave me a crushing hug.

I used to be a gardener, but I leafed.

Which month do soldiers hate most? March.

I used to play hide and seek with my plants, but they kept rooting for me.

I'm good pals with 25 letters of the alphabet, but I don't know U.

I'm writing a joke about overthinking, but I don't know if I'm overthinking it.

Asking a bookworm to stop reading is like asking a unicorn to stop prancing.

One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on ahead.'

I told my landlord I wanted a more interesting name - now I'm Tenantius Clay.

I'm friends with a lot of vegetarians - I think they're all just beating around the bush.