Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.

I wanted to be a mime, but I couldn't keep my mouth shut.

I used to be a baker, but now I'm fired up about being a chef.

I used to be a baker, but the job wasn't my bread and butter.

I used to be a baker, but now I'm rolling with a different crowd.

I used to be a baker, but now I'm putting my eggs in a different basket.

I just watched a movie on how ships are put together, it was riveting!

I'd tell you a construction pun, but I'm still working on it.

A zoo offered me a job feeding the giraffes, but I couldn't see myself doing it.

If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring? Pilgrims!

Why was the electricity so nice? It conducted itself very well.

I tell dad jokes but I have no children... I'm a faux pa!

My new thesaurus is terrible, in fact, it's terrible.

I own a pencil that used to belong to Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.

All chemists are brilliant, they have all the solutions.

I'm writing a book on hurricanes, it's just a draft at the moment.

I've reached the point in my life where I can't remember what I forgot.

I once told a joke to my crush, she laughed and said I was funny. I'll never forget the look on her husband's face.

I'm friends with spaghetti, we go way back.

The problem isn’t that obesity runs in my family - the problem is that nobody runs in my family.

My dad is bald, so we celebrate Father’s Day on a pane.