I'd like to buy a bakery, but I just can't raise enough dough.

I asked the baker for a job, but he said he couldn't knead my skills.

I asked the baker for a job, but he said he couldn't handle the pressure.

I always make sure to carry a pencil in my pocket in case I need to draw blood.

I'm allergic to water, every time I drink it I break out in watermarks.

I asked the librarian if they had any books on silence, she told me they were all checked out.

I'm reading a book on anti-gravity, it's so good I can't put it down.

I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t raise the dough.

I got a new pair of gloves for my wife. She said, 'You don’t know me at all.'

The quickest way to make a pun is to plan it.

I'm out of bed and dressed - what more do you want?

I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually, it came back to me.

I've got a phobia of over-engineered buildings - it's a complex complex complex.

I wanted to be a baker, but they told me I kneaded more experience.

My math teacher called me average - that's mean.

I'm in a long-distance relationship with my Wi-Fi - the connection is unstable.

I'm addicted to collecting vintage pennies - it's my two cents worth.

I'm friends with most of the alphabet, but I do have some beef with U.

Do you want a brief explanation of what a pun is? No, it's too s-humorous for that.

I used to be a baker, but now I'm focusing on my loaf outside of work.

What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta, trying to noodle you with the truth.