I used to go fishing every weekend, but I got tired of the reeling.

I would like to give a big shoutout to sidewalks for keeping me off the streets.

Shout out to my fingers. I can always count on them.

I used to be a tailor, but I couldn't make the thread.

Why did the cupcake go to the doctor? It was feeling crumby.

I used to be an elevator, but I got promoted.

I told my wife she should do half marathons, but she said that's a short joke.

I told my computer a joke about RAM, but it couldn't process it.

I used to be a gardener, but I couldn't turnip the heat.

I told my wife she should take up golf, but she couldn't putter.

I'm reading a book on wind turbines, it's really blowing my mind.

I told my computer a joke about the internet, but it didn't get the connection.

I used to be a gardener, but the job was too draining.

I told my wife she should study astronomy, but she said the jokes are too far out.

I tried to organize a space party, but it was a total eclipse.

I told my phone a joke, but it didn't get the humor. It must be too 'smart'.

I told my wife she should embrace her flaws. She gave me a big hug.

I'm good friends with my computer, but our friendship is screen deep.

I visited the bakery, but it was a half-baked experience.

I told my gardener to stop making dad jokes, but it's a lawn way to go.

I asked my cat if it believed in aliens. It said 'meow-t of this world'.