I'm friends with a broom, we have a sweeping friendship.

I tried to write a joke about the sun, but it was too light.

I used to be a gardener, but my plants kept leaf-ing me.

I'm friends with a baker, our friendship is baking some memories.

I tried to take up fencing, but I just couldn't make the cut.

I'm friends with a pair of pants, we have a leg-up on friendship.

I tried to become a comedian, but the audience didn't follow my punchlines.

I used to work at a bread factory, but I couldn't make enough dough.

I'm friends with a baker, our friendship is bread on arrival.

I'm friends with a psychology major, they know me better than I do.

I'm friends with an elevator, it always lifts my spirits.

I'm friends with a broken pencil, it has no point.

I'm friends with the sun, it rises and shines for me.

I used to be a shoe salesman, but I couldn't sole anyone.

I told a joke about a clock, but the timing was all wrong.

I used to be a coach, but I lost my drive.

I used to be a gardener, but I couldn't make my plants grow on me.

I told my wife she should get her eyes tested – she just looked at me funny.

I told my wife she should loosen up – she wasn't amused.

My tailor is happy because he always makes suit me.

Why did the speech coach go to jail? He got life without parole.