A broken pencil is pointless.

Why couldn't the bicycle find a job? It was two-tired.

I'm reading a book on the history of dinosaurs - I can't get enough of the roar facts!

I'm friends with all the numbers, but some are more irrational than others.

I used to be a baker, but I decided to go against the grain.

My cat only has 8 lives left, he's living on the edge.

I took up gardening because I wanted a blooming career.

I'm reading a book on the history of invisibility - I just can't see the end.

Why did the musical ghost go to the band concert? To find some sheet music.

I'm reading a book on the history of teleportation - I'm hooked.

I'm trying to learn how to make holy water. I'm getting mixed results.

I wanted to be a doctor, but I lost my patience.

I bought shoes from a drug dealer, unsure what he laced them with, but I've been running all day.

I tried to organize a hide and seek tournament, but it was a failure, nobody showed up.

Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns can't hold them up.

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes, she said, 'You go first.'

I tried to start a band called 1023MB, but we couldn't get any gigs.

I used to play piano by ear, but now I have to hit the keys.

I told my wife she should do lunges to stay in shape, she did a 180.

I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, but I'm not fond of U.

I tried to organize a hide and seek tournament, but it didn't go well - nobody came out.