Why did the piano break up with the banjo? It found the harp too stringy.

An invisible man married an invisible woman. Their kids were nothing to look at either.

I used to be a Velcro salesman, but I couldn't stick with it.

I used to be a prison guard, but I couldn't handle the bars.

I have a joke about space, but it's lightyears away.

I used to work in an orange juice factory, but it was just pulp fiction.

I tried to write a joke about unemployment, but it doesn't work.

I have a fear of ants, but I'm slowly digging up the courage.

I used to be a firefighter, but I kept getting burned.

I used to work in a blanket factory, it was a real cover-up.

I used to be a mime artist, but it spoke volumes to me.

I used to be a shoe salesman, but I couldn't sole anything.

I have a fear of overly large numbers, but I'll deal with it one billion at a time.

I used to be a sailor, but the sea made me salty.

I told a joke about classic cars, but it was too old.

I have a friend who's a baker, he really takes the cake.

I'm friends with a philosopher, we share deep thoughts.

I met the Energizer Bunny today. He's still going.

I tried to write a book about Mount Everest, but it never reached its peak.

I tried to build a computer out of pasta, but it kept lasagna.

I heard the grape jokes through the vine.