I used to be a gardener, but I couldn't find any plant that would root for me.

I used to play piano in a haunted house, the keys kept moving by themselves.

I'm writing a book on reverse psychology, you're not going to read it.

I have a pun about vegetables, but it's corny.

I used to be a comedian, but I couldn't stand the pressure.

I'm friends with a fax machine, it's older but still sending.

I used to be a tennis instructor, but it was a racket.

I have a joke about cats, but it's purr-sonal.

I told a time-traveling joke, but you didn't like it.

I'm friends with a lot of mathematicians, we have natural log-ic.

Why can't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.

I asked the librarian if they had any books on humor. They said they're all checked out.

I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, but I have trust issues with the alphabet.

I asked the librarian if they had any books on hypnosis. They said, 'You won't be able to put them down.'

I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, but W can be a challenge.

I told my computer a joke, now it's processing.

I attempted to write a joke about negative numbers. It was below zero.

I asked the librarian if they had any books on being indecisive. They said they can't decide.

I tried to take a photo of some fog, but I kept missing the shot.

I asked the librarian if they had any books on patience. They told me to wait.

I told my computer a joke, now it's bookmarked it forever.