I tried to make a joke about bees, but I just kept getting stung by the punchline.

I told my wife I want to start a career in acting, she said 'don't quit your day job.'

I tried to make a joke about paper, but it just seems too plain.

I saw a clown sitting on a park bench; I guess he just needed some time to jest.

I used to be a zookeeper, but I couldn't bear the pressure.

My wife told me I should plant a tree, so I guess I'll branch out and give it a try.

I tried to make a joke about mirrors, but it just reflected poorly on me.

I asked my wife if we could adopt a fruit tree, she said 'that's bananas!'

I tried to come up with a joke about chickens, but it just kept crossing the road.

I used to be a gardener, but I couldn't handle the growing pressure.

I told my computer I was feeling down, now it just sends me uplifting messages.

I tried to organize a surprise party for my wife, but I guess I just couldn't keep it under wraps.

My wife told me to stop making fruit jokes, so I asked 'you cantaloupe with me?'.

I'm friends with some vegetables, we have a real heart-to-artichoke connection.

My cat was just sick all over the carpet; I guess it'll just be paws and effect.

I couldn't figure out why the coffee kept disappearing; turns out it was a latte to take in.

I tried to make a joke about the sun, but it just ended up being too light.

I asked the librarian if they had any books on history, she said they're all in the past.

I saw a squirrel collecting nuts for the winter, makes sense - he wants to be a big spender.

My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo; I guess I had to put my foot down.

I tried to organize a hide and seek competition, but it seems like no one wants to take part.