I told a joke about strings, but it didn't have any tension.

I'm reading a book on submarines, it's riveting.

Why was the scarecrow promoted? Because he was outstanding in his scare-demic field.

Why did the belt get locked up? It held up a pair of trousers.

Why was the timer anxious? Because its seconds were ticking away.

The math teacher called the bank. He lost interest.

I'm in a band called The Duvets. We put people to sleep.

Do you want a brief explanation of what's going on in the world of high fashion? I'm sure you can make it fit.

I'm trying to write a book about circular reasoning. It keeps going around in circles.

I'm trying to write a book about human anatomy. It's a real page-turner.

Why was the math book so happy? It had a lot of problems solved.

I would post a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon.

I used to be an astronaut, but I needed some space.

The pastry chef was always in a jam, but he always rose to the occasion.

The magician pulled a hare out of his hat, but it was an illusion.

If a con artist married a gullible person, it would be a match made in heaven.

The math teacher was so old, he could remember the times tables back in cave days.

Coffee is the planet's morning person, always percolating and ready to go.

I asked my dog to help me with math, but he's better at barking up the wrong tree.

I'm trying to write a pun about clocks, but it's taking too much time.

I inherited a clock collection from my grandfather. It's about time.