Why did the gardener break up with his girlfriend? He couldn't handle the re-leaf.

Why did the cell phone break up with the GPS? It couldn't seem to find its way to commitment.

My girlfriend said she wanted a romantic candlelit dinner. So I took her to Waffle House during a blackout.

Why did the musician break up with his metronome? It couldn't keep up with his timing.

My wife told me she'd leave me if I didn't stop making Beatles puns. Guess now I'm gonna 'Let It Be'.

What did one magnet say to the other magnet on Valentine's Day? I find you very attractive.

Why did the bicycle fall over when it tried to make a toast? Because it was two tired.

What did the boy bird say to the girl bird on Valentine's Day? Let's fly away together.

I asked my boyfriend to surprise me for my birthday. So he moved out while I was at work.

My husband said he wanted to be more spontaneous. So I divorced him.

My boyfriend said he wanted to be more environmentally friendly. So he dumped me and started recycling.

I only have eyes for you...and possibly that cute barista at Starbucks.

Why did the couple break up at the coffee shop? They couldn't espresso their feelings.

I tried cooking a romantic dinner for my wife, but I accidentally burned everything. Now I'm toast.

My wife told me she wanted to be treated like a princess. So I put her in a castle and never saw her again.

What did the pickle say to its partner? 'You mean a great dill to me.'

Why did the couple go to the beach on their anniversary? They wanted to ride the wave of love.

Why did the woman break up with the singer? He was always flat.

Why did the man bring a photo album on his date? So they could picture a future together.

Why did the couple go to the amusement park on their anniversary? They wanted to ride the rollercoaster of love.

Why did the woman break up with the dentist? She couldn't handle his drill.