Why did the man bring a map on his date? In case he lost himself in her eyes.

Why did the woman break up with the baker? She couldn't handle all the dough.

Why did the man take his date to the barbershop? He wanted to show her his razor-sharp wit.

What did the ocean say to the beach? 'Thanks for the wave reviews.'

Why did the man propose to the ocean? Because he wanted to make a big splash.

What did the janitor say to his date? 'You sweep me off my feet.'

Why did the man buy his date a watch? He wanted to make sure their relationship stood the test of time.

Why did the woman bring a calendar on her date? So she could schedule more time with her significant other.

Why did the woman bring a tape measure on her date? To see if their love was the perfect fit.

Why did the man take his date to the art gallery? He wanted to paint her a picture of their future together.

What did the cowboy say to his date? 'I'll always wrangle your heart.'

Why did the man bring a pillow on his date? In case things got too soft between them.

Why did the man bring a pencil to his date? In case they wanted to draw closer.

My girlfriend said she wanted to quit smoking. I told her she already smoked me.

I told my wife she should embrace her inner child. She asked me if it came with a receipt.

Why did the man bring a map to bed? In case things got a little too 'territorial'.

My wife said she wants a fairy tale wedding. So I locked her in a tower.

Why did the woman break up with the cloud? It was always raining on her parade.

Why did the man start a band with his girlfriend? They had great chemistry.

What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself? A tearjerker.

I used to date a baker, but she constantly kneaded the dough.