What do you call two podiatrists in love? Sole mates.

Why did the camera break up with the tripod? It couldn't handle the exposure.

What do you call two plumbers in love? Drains-in.

Why did the athlete break up with the mathematician? They just couldn't find an equal balance.

What do you call two astronomers in love? Star-crossed lovers.

Why did the chef break up with the baker? It was a half-baked relationship.

What do you call two bankers in love? Interest rates.

Why did the strawberry break up with the blueberry? They couldn't find any common jam.

What do you call two electricians in love? Spark plugs.

Why did the artist break up with the poet? They just couldn't paint a perfect picture.

What do you call two coffee beans in love? Roast couples.

What do you call two lawyers in love? Laws of attraction.

Why did the sea captain break up with the mermaid? She kept baiting him.

Why did the mathematician break up with his girlfriend? She couldn't function under his cosine.

What did the ocean say to the beach? It waved.

What did the paper say to the pencil? You dot my i's, I'll cross your t's.

What do you call an engagement ring in a hurricane? A diamond in the rough.

My husband and I are getting a divorce. We aren't on speaking terms.

Why did the bread go to therapy? It had too many crumby relationships.

Why did the man propose to his calculator? He couldn't live without it.

I told my boyfriend he should embrace his mistakes...he gave me a hug.