I love dating a baker because they always bring something sweet to the relationship.

My wife accused me of being too organized. I told her it's just how I roll.

I told my wife she should stop impersonating a flamingo. She had to put her foot down.

I asked my wife if she believes in love at first sight. She said yes, that's why she stopped looking.

I love being in a relationship with a gardener because our love keeps blooming.

Why did the phone break up with the charger? It couldn't handle the constant attachment issues.

I asked my partner if they believed in love at first sight. They said no, they needed more data for analysis.

Why did the baker break up with their oven? The heat was too much to handle in the relationship.

My husband asked me to put ketchup on everything I cook. Now he's my ex-husband.

I told my boyfriend he should hug me more. Now he's comparing me to a teddy bear.

Why did the grape break up with the banana? Because it couldn't find any a-peel in the relationship.

My wife said she wanted a romantic candlelit dinner, so I set the kitchen on fire. She wasn't impressed.

Why did the cheese break up with the crackers? It felt too spread thin in the relationship.

Why did the calendar break up with the clock? The relationship was just too time-consuming.

My wife said she wanted me to take her breath away... so I stole her inhaler.

Why did the girlfriend break up with the calendar? Because he just didn't have enough dates!

I only want three things: See you. Hug you. Kiss you.

My husband told me to stop singing 'Wonderwall' to him. I said maybe.

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired from a long day.

Why did the man propose to the ocean? Because he wanted to sea forever.

Why did the man bring a pencil to his date? Because he heard they had a 'write' connection.