Why did the mathematician break up with the philosopher? They couldn't solve the equation of love!

Why did the carpenter break up with the electrician? They couldn't wire their feelings together!

What do you call two birds in love who lock themselves out of their nest? Tweet-hearts in need of a locksmith!

Why did the clock break up with the calendar? It couldn't handle all the time apart!

Why did the computer date the floppy disk? Because it found it hard to resist its magnetic personality!

My girlfriend told me she wants a diamond ring for her birthday. So I got her a pack of playing cards...

Why did the couple go to the amusement park? They wanted to ride the rollercoaster of love!

My girlfriend said she wants a husband who is tall, dark, and handsome. So I bought a lamp!

Why did the couple go to the seafood restaurant? They wanted to have a romantic meal with a little 'krill' on the side!

I asked my wife if she wanted a shoulder to cry on. She said no, she'd rather have a hand to hold on to!

Why did the artist break up with his model? She couldn't draw the line between work and relationship!

My girlfriend told me she needs space. So I bought her a telescope!

What do you call two spiders who just got engaged? Eng-webbed!

I asked my wife if she wanted to go on a romantic hot air balloon ride. She said, 'Only if we can land in a shopping mall!'

Why did the letter break up with the envelope? It wanted to be free to pursue its own stamp collection!

Why did the baker break up with his girlfriend? She couldn't handle his 'rude' behavior!

My girlfriend said she wants a man who can make her laugh. So I bought a joke book!

I told my wife she should go on a diet. She said, 'Why? What color should I choose?'

Why did the math teacher break up with the arithmetic teacher? They just couldn't count on each other!

My girlfriend said she wanted to spice things up in the relationship. So I replaced all the sugar in the house with salt!

Why did the geologist break up with the biologist? They had too many issues with sedimentary vs. evolutionary dating!