Why did the romantic comedy go to therapy? It had too many issues!

I asked my wife to rate our relationship on a scale of 1 to 10. She said we're at a 3. That's okay, I prefer odd numbers anyway!

My girlfriend is like a fine wine. I only get her out on special occasions... and she gives me a headache!

Dating a single mother is like continuing from someone else's saved game. It can be confusing, but sometimes you get cool weapons!

Why did the boy bring a ladder to his first date? He heard the girl was falling for him!

I don't have a girlfriend, but I do know a girl who'd be mad if she heard me say that!

Why did the man name his dogs Rolex and Timex? Because they were watch dogs!

Why did the woman bring a telescope to her date? To see if they had a future together.

What did the painter say to his girlfriend when he proposed? 'You make my world colorful.'

Why did the man break up with his GPS? It kept trying to reroute their relationship.

Why did the woman bring a compass and binoculars to her date? To keep an eye on their direction and scope out their potential.

What did the traffic light say to its partner? 'I'll always stop for you.'

Why did the man break up with his calculator? It just couldn't compute their relationship.

What did the plant say to its partner? 'You make my roots grow deeper.'

What did the digital clock say to its partner? 'I'll always have time for you.'

Why did the woman start using a ladder in her relationship? To elevate their love.

Why did the man break up with his internet provider? It was too slow to keep up with their communication.

What did the wall say to the ceiling? 'We make a great match.'

Why did the woman bring a compass to her date? To ensure they were always headed in the right direction.

Why did the man break up with his food processor? It couldn't blend well with his lifestyle.

What did the clock say to its partner when they were in an argument? 'Don't watch me like that.'