Why did the pencil break up with the eraser? It couldn't erase the mistakes.

I asked my wife if she thinks I'm too old for her. She said no, age is just a number - in my case, a really big number.

Why did the mechanic break up with his girlfriend? She didn't appreciate his pickup lines.

Why did the computer break up with the internet? It felt like it was getting too many viruses.

Why did the pencil break up with the eraser? It felt like it was always being rubbed the wrong way.

I told my girlfriend she should do stand-up comedy. She laughed, but I guess that's a no.

My boyfriend said he wanted to be more spontaneous. So, I booked us a surprise trip to the grocery store.

I asked my date if she wanted to hear a joke about construction. She said, 'Sure, why not?' Well, I'm still working on that one.

What did the snowman say to the snow woman? 'I don't want to rush into anything, but I'm melting for you.'

Why did the ghost break up with its partner? It didn't feel like they had a real connection.

I told my husband I needed some space. So, he bought me a telescope.

What did the flower say to its lover? I'm blossoming when I'm with you.

Why did the baseball player go to the ballpark with a pencil? In case he needed to draw a base.

I suggested to my wife that we should take up meditation. She agreed, we are both now experts in sitting quietly.

What did the paper say to the pencil? I dot my I's on you!

My boyfriend and I started role-playing as Superman and Wonder Woman. I think he's taking it too far - he's started calling me Lois Lane.

My girlfriend accused me of being immature. I told her to get out of my fort.

My boyfriend is like a fine wine. He's getting better with age, and gives me a headache.

Why did the tomato refuse to commit to a relationship? It didn't want to get ketchup in all the drama.

Why did the math book break up with the geometry book? It just couldn't find the right angle.

Why did the music teacher break up with the singer? They were always off-key.