Why do they not serve beer in the Vatican? Because only spirits are allowed.

What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? A porkupine.

Why don't scientists tell secrets on the moon? Because there's no atmosphere.

How did the raisin dance? It was grapevine.

Why do angels play harps? Because horns are too heavy.

Why did the semicolon break up with the comma? They were in a complex relationship.

Why did the skeleton go to church? Because he had nobody to hang out with.

Why did the atheist go to church? He wanted to see if it was a cult or just a club with a really long grace period.

Why did Eve never have a date in the garden of Eden? She gave Adam the cold shoulder.

What do you call a religious fish? A blessed fish-tian.

Why was the musician a baker? Because he was known for his flat buns.

Why did the church start a cooking class? To help with all the good Lord's provisions.

What is a priest's favorite type of art? Parish-al.

Why was the baby ghost so calm? Because it had holy sheet.

Why did the monk refuse to go on a roller coaster? He wanted to avoid the highs and lows of life.

What did the grape say after the wine had drunk? It didn't whine.

Why don't they play hide and seek in the church? Because good luck finding someone who's constantly hiding behind God.

Why did the nun get a job at the bank? She had a habit of saving money.

Why did the pastor bring a rope to church? To give the congregation some ties that bind.

How does the Vatican like their pizza? Holy and saucy.

Why was the choir told to watch their diet? They were hitting too many high notes.