Jokes about religious practices or beliefs (may be sensitive).
What did the preacher have for breakfast? Bible toast with gospel jelly.
Why did the priest get a job at the bakery? He was good at using the bread to give sermons.
How do you get a nun's attention? By asking if she can hear the prayers in your heart.
How did the atheist fisherman get out of a tough situation? He cried 'Oh my cod!'
Why do monks make terrible comedians? Their jokes are too monk-otonous.
Why did the chicken start attending church regularly? It wanted to hatch a plan for eternal life.
Why did the nun get her computer blessed? She wanted to avoid getting viruses.
What is a priest's favorite painting? The Last Supper!
Why did the pastor sit on a needle? He was trying to find a point in his sermon.
Why did the atheist throw a party? He wanted to celebrate nothing.
Why don’t pastors make good comedians? Their jokes are always too sancti-monious.
Why don’t scientologists play hide and seek? Good luck finding them when they’re hidden in a Thetan closet.
How do we know Jesus was Jewish? He lived at home until he was thirty and his mother thought he was God.
Why did the pastor carry a ladder to the church service? He was delivering a sermon from a higher level.
Why do priests always carry a towel? In case they need to dry the holy water… or for a Holy Ghost bath.
Why did the environmentalist refuse to convert to a new religion? He didn’t want to be a sectarian.
What game do ghosts like to play with God? Hide and seek… but they always lose.
Why don’t Jewish people celebrate Christmas? They already get eight crazy nights for Hanukkah.
Why was the computer cold during the night? Because it left Windows open.
What did the Taliban book club read? The Quaran-tined.
Why did Moses and his people wander in the desert for 40 years? Even back then, men wouldn’t ask for directions.